New paradigm or delusion?


Paradigm is defined as a pattern or model.

SLAA recovery gives me the opportunity to enter a new pattern of behavior and a new paradigm. This paradigm is a world of sustainable love without conditions and this love is given to me by a higher power.  It is a world of purpose beyond relationships and what I can get but about giving and witnessing how god is working in my life and the life of others.

Delusion is defined in the Merriam Webster dictionary as being a  belief or impression that one maintains despite it being contradicted in reality or rational argument...it can often be a symptom of a mental disorder

 Often old ideas or delusions can re surface in recovery .  These old ideas can take hold similar like how a virus that has been beaten wants to rehook itself into our cells and trick our immune system into replicating itself. Often times this can occur when putting the principles of recovery to practice such as entering a new romantic relationship, new friendships, old endeavor or careers etc.

Some delusions I have often resurfaced in my recovery  are

  • I am not worthy of love
  • I need validation and reassurance that I am a good person
  • Fear of abdonmenet or being alone
  • Or if I am anorexic  I make up rules up about how and when Ill give or how love should be given to me for me to enter a relationship or not 
The baffling part is that all of these thoughts can occur despite the obvious!All of a sudden the old paradigm has hijacked my new pair of recovery glasses! 

Luckily all of these delusions are a sign of a challenge happening in my thinking and as the defintion suggests that my thinking ( mental) is disordered) 


I am reminded of some recovery quotes from Alcoholics Anonymous

" Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well?- Big Book How it works pg 61

" As we took inventory, we began to suspect how much trouble self-delusion had to cause us"- Step 5 12 x 12 pg 58-59


  • When I think I can obtain happiness from another person or from the world at large then I am deluded
  • My desire to be validated and reassured by another person in order to be happy is a delusion. 
  •  My thinking that a man or situation can calm my fear of abandonment or give me security is a delusion.
  • When I think I can manage the relationship then I will be ok  then I am deluded
This thinking is self-centereded with a splash of self-pity. It tells me that the relationship is only about me and not the other person at all, and that my world is wrapped up in whether or not this person is giving me what I think I deserve. Slowly my world becomes small, I can see no other way, and I certainly don't see a guiding light out.

The good news :::: Thank god its just my thinking!  So how do I get my thinking back into order?


  • Be of service to someone
  • Work the steps
  • Share with others your recovery and the SOLUTION to your problem. When we share the solution it keeps it active and growing within our spirit
  • Do a spot check inventory. Ask god to remove the defect of character. Then ask to have your thinking turned towards what god would want you to be in this moment now.

Once I ask execute some of the above and use the tools of recovery, the obvious reality comes into view, this is that that I am under the care of my higher power, my life is actually ok, the relationship I am in is ok, my career my endeavors are all ok!!  Funny that. When I take an action opposite to my thoughts my thinking changes!

At last back into the new paradigm! This paradigm is one where I give without conditions, I am secure and whole. Its knowing that the old ideas are old and has nothing to do with my inherent self-worth and that I have the power to now walk with the new ideas and so enter a life beyond my wildest dreams.








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