Trigger, triggered or Powerlessness?

If I have a trigger I am trigger-ed once. Once= One time.

If I am continually triggered - that means than I am stuck in  thinking feeling more than once= multiple times

If I am in a state of thinking and feeling multiple times that means I have crossed the line into complusive thinking= Complusive thinking means I am beyond human aid and I cant stop

When I am beyond human aid than it is a signpost that  I am  powerless. Powerless= without power

Essentially I am without power when I am "triggered".  Lets be honest though, being "triggered" just means  my thinking is selfish and self centered clothed in wolf clothing of  " frothy psychological appeal"

When a person in SLAA says " I was triggered this week or triggered today " what they / you are even me  is saying is that:

1) I am victim to life
2) I am inadequate

 More importanly If this statement doesnt follow with a solution like " yes that happened but I prayed and god helped me" then

1) they, you or I want someone to feel bad for me or them and this is self-pity.

If I am  discussing a "trigger"in a meeting  I am  telling myself and the newcomer in the room that I am   inadequate and that the loving power that is beside me day and night doesn't exist. In fact I am reducing spirituality to mental terms and worst of all I am giving the newcomer problems vs solutions creating more ilness and less recovery and running them out the door. WHen we run the newcomer out the door there is no chance of any recovery.

This thinking and feeling leaves me in a state perpetual irritability and discontent later leading me to acting out. To act out is to die and I want to live

News flash: There are no victims and no one is unique in SLAA.There are no victims expect when the addiciton makes me victimize myself.

So how do I stop cutting my own hand and insisting that god doesn't exist wth this " trigger" that  I continue to complain about in dishonest psychological terms instead of terms of recovery? There is a SOLUTION

1) Admit your powerless. When I am powerless I can implement step 1-2-3.

  • I am powerless over my thinking
  • My thinking is insane
  • Dear God give me the power to not act on the thinking
2) Spot check. God please deliver me from this self centered thinking. Guide me to do your will.


Freedom can come in taking one action a day and that is bringing god into your life and chopping that "trigger" in half  like a samurai sword. Then and only then can I have the freedom I seek and the security of love and peace from a higher power

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Withdrawal; Signposts and Recovery

“ We were doing the withdrawing;” we were choosing to take back or withdraw the energy which we had been squandering on futile pursuits. This very energy, now back within us, was helping us to become whole people"  Sex and love addicts Anonymous First Edition pg -113  The beginning stages of our step and recovery process is what our literature calls withdrawal. This stage is a beginning of healing from the pain of numbing out on a person, sex or situation and allows us to be available to our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual life. Often times this occurs after we have created bottom lines and are withdrawing our energy from the addictive behaviour. Through letting go of the addictive situation we are able to look at our own stumbling blocks, behaviors, and challenges that create a disconnection between ourselves and the power that will help us not act out, stay sober and as a result identify what creates a disconnection between ourselves, other people and the c...
Read more

Fear; a cycle of diconnection

The program of SLAA provides me a way to solve the problem of fear in a way that creates manageability, brings connection and peace. Without SLAA in my life, I am caught in an endless cycle of fear that stops me from living and dictates that suicide is the only way out. When I take inventory on my fear, at first sight, it can be surface level. It could be fear of losing a partner, potential mate, friendships, family, and friends. I then find myself in the trap of using my relationships and external circumstances to solve the irritability brewing below the surface. I break my fear down by  1) Identifying what I would loose that I already possessed and 2) Identify what I think I would fail to get that I demanded 3) Continue to ask why I have this fear After I take it through the inventory I am able to see the truth. For example, I have often found a repeated pattern of the fear of being alone in active addiction and in recovery. Although I have this fea...
Read more